Archive for October, 2011

Why I Love Poetry
October 31, 2011

Sheep In Fog

By Sylvia Plath

The hills step off into whitness
People or stars
Regard me sadly, I disappoint them

The train leaves a line of breath
O slow
Horse the colour of rust

Hooves, dolorous bells –
All morning the
Morning has been blackening.

A flower left out.
My bones hold a stillness, the far
Fields melt my heart.

They threaten
To let me through to a heaven
Starless and fatherless, a dark water.

 

Every line in the poem so perfectly written, it really is. I’m not going to go into each and every thing I love about this poem, but I will pick out a few, basic things. I love the imagery in the line, ‘the train leaves a line of breath’, because it really instills the loneliness evoked in this poem, with connotations of the end of life, reinforced with the repeated ‘morning’ in the next stanza, holding the same phonetics as ‘mourning’. I’ve tried writing similarly, to create the same sense of fragility and vulnerability but I find it always comes across too harsh, it’s so gentle. ‘My bones hold a stillness’, does this in particular, the verb choice ‘hold’ denotes that perfect balance between the placidity juxtaposed with the uneasiness and uncomfortable tone of hopelessness. It’s beautiful. And beautifully heart breaking. And not only is each part of the poem eloquent, the poem as a whole work cohesively, my favourite feature being the ‘whiteness’ at the beginning and the ‘dark water’ at the end. It’s so simple yet implemented in a way that adds a more complex, downward-spiralling sense to it. I love this poem, and I love Sylvia Plath.

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Day 7. Something I Hope I Never Have To Do.
October 31, 2011

~Thirty Days of Truth Challenge (http://hope.gr/30-days-of-truth/)~

I got day 6 and 7 the wrong way round, haha, and also I am a couple days late as I have been busy :) Anyway, on with the post…

Something I hope I never have to do. Well obviously there are the normal things, kill someone, chose between two lovers (aha), general bad dilemas that people base films around etc. But something more personal, I never ever want to be a house wife. Now I have nothing against people that are house wifes, or people that want to be house wifes, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it in the slightest, however, to me, it is my nightmare. I hate cooking, I hate cleaning, and I hate spending vast amounts of time at home. Plus, the idea of having a man go out and earning the income and for me to have his dinner ready waiting for him when he comes through the door makes my skin crawl. I know this is a very stereotypical view on housewifery, but still. I would hate to not earn my own wage, earn my own money to buy things that I have worked for. It is more rewarding like that, I think anyway. Plus, most of what I want to do is career orientated. On the flip side, I hope I never have a 9 to 5. I think I just hate monotomoy. Well who doesn’t? I’d rather have a 9 to 5 than be a house wife though. But then I guess you kind of have to stay at home, at least for a little bit with young children. Jeez why am I thinking about this now? Think I’ve just had my feminist head on these past few days really. I hope I don’t have to think about this any time soon haha, marriage… kids… mortgages… careers… fuck that. I’m an unemployed, broke, mostly-drunk student and I hope it stays that way (minus the unemployed and broke part) for a good few years, minimum. Stress-free. Considering.

Day 6. Someone Who Has Made My Life Worth Living.
October 27, 2011

~Thirty Days of Truth Challenge (http://hope.gr/30-days-of-truth/)~

No, I disagree with this. You shouldn’t be living for other people, you live and do because YOU want to. If you are living for other people then you are not living your own life. My life is worth living because somehow, miraculously, against all of the odds there is such thing as ‘the universe’ and amongst it all there just so happens to be a planet in this universe, ideally situated near a sun, so it’s not too hot and it’s not too cold. That just so happens to have land and water. So that it can hold life. And just by chance, life did spring, and it survived, and it evolved, and that is how I got here. And the chances of this happening is so near impossible I wouldn’t know how to express is mathematically. And not only is there such thing as human life on this planet, but I have a life because my parents met, by chance, and by chance a specific sperm and a specific egg fertilized. Against all of the odds we are here. We are all miracles, but we don’t see it like that because we see it everyday. But what is even more amazing. Millions of people in this world are starving, have nothing, cannot read or write, no basic health care. But look at where I am. I was born in a nice, normal family. I was given everything I needed, whenever I needed it. I’m healthy, I can do or be anything I want. I am on the cusp of the rest of my life. And that makes my life worth living. We are all lucky, we don’t need a ‘special someone’ that we ‘live our lives for’. No. You live for yourself. And if you find someone to share that with, then you’re even luckier.

Day 5. Something I Hope To Do In My Life.
October 26, 2011

~Thirty Days of Truth Challenge (http://hope.gr/30-days-of-truth/)~

Well well well. I want to loads. I want to publish a novel and/or a collection of poetry. I want to present a radio show. I want to be on television. I want to write for a paper/magazine. I want to walk the red carpet. I want to visit every continent. I want to live in another country. I want an old fashion type writer. I want to get married. I want to have a family. I want to own a big, badass Bentley. I want to study every form of art there is. I want to do some good somewhere. I want to change the world. If I can make a positive impact on one person somewhere, change their life for the better, even if it’s just making them a little happier then it’s all worth it then, isn’t it. But one main thing that I hope to do in my life… it’s a tough one. I want to write a novel. That definitely comes top. But not just any old novel that sits on the shelves in Waterstones that nobody notices, I want people to read it and actually think, “you know, that really made me think about x, y and z”. Have you ever read a book that completely questioned your way of thinking? That stayed with you? I want to write something that people will study one day. That will cause controversy, will be loved and hated, criticised and recognised as great literature. Yeah it’s a long shot, but it’s what I hope for. We all have dreams.

All You Are To Me Is Dead Skin
October 26, 2011

This song is amazing. This band is amazing. Listen and fall in love.

Say Anything – It’s a metaphor, fool.

Pentameterrrrr
October 26, 2011

Fin.
by Elexa Rose
 
I can see the door now, it’s closed and locked.
We are trapped. And they threw the keys away.
Falling down the rabbit hole, soon enough
Our graces and mistakes will come to light.
Please stop saying sorry. What’s done is done.
I don’t blame you for not holding my hand
Though I reached out with longing eyes, near tears.
We sped our way through streets so brightly lit,
We pinned our love, our hopes on such a whim
It’s no wonder we landed in this place.
It’s no wonder we lost the final race.

Day 4. Something I Have To Forgive Someone Else For.
October 26, 2011

~Thirty Days of Truth Challenge (http://hope.gr/30-days-of-truth/)~

So the thing that I feel someone has done that hurt me the most. And that’s easy. I had a friend, who was pretty fucked up, my best friend at the time, we literally lived with each other which was rare because I’m never that close with girls. In short, she tried to OD, got hospitalised and afterwards she didn’t want to know me. I know this is an incredibly selfish view, and I get that what she went through was horrible, but you know a phone call to say, oh by the way I am alive. Instead of screening all contact from me. Why? That’s all I really want to know. I hope this isn’t true, but it makes me feel as if I was partly to blame. I don’t know what happened at all. Oh well, it’s in the past now. I don’t even know what she’s doing now, last I heard she gained a shit load of weight, worked in a fish & chips and wanted to move in with her chav boyfriend. I don’t think they’re together any more. Meh.

Day 3. Something I have to forgive myself for.
October 25, 2011

~Thirty Days of Truth Challenge (http://hope.gr/30-days-of-truth/)~

Well, I was thinking about this, and I figured this has to be the one thing I regret most, the thing I am most ashamed of and that is for how horribly I treated my ex. Obviously I have a lot of exes, but the guy I was with for the longest, three years, yeah we went through a lot, it’s weird, and now we’re barely friends. I mean, and it doesn’t even bother me. Should it? Anyway, that’s a completely different train of thought all together. So yeah, it’s not just him I treated badly, but I just generally had very low self-esteem and didn’t give a shit about anything, I cheated on him so much. I didn’t give a crap about myself, my body or anything. I was just a mess to be fair. But it’s a time in my life that happened and I’m better for it, lesson learnt etc. This probably is a bit too personal for a public blog, but I’ve always been too open. I’m open about anything if anyone genuinely wants to know. Not that anyone actually wants to know haha. But yeah, everyone has their ‘dark’ patch or whatever, I had a bad three years really. I feel bad for the guy that had to be there through it all. But it’s not like he ever… I’m going to shut up now. I’m not going in to this. Bleugh. But it’s all good now (: live, learn, get over it etc, I wouldn’t be where I am now so I officially forgive myself for being a dirty, reckless slut.

P.S. I may be a little drunk.

Day 2. Something I Love About Myself.
October 24, 2011

~Thirty Days of Truth Challenge (http://hope.gr/30-days-of-truth/)~

I love my drive. Well I’m not the most driven person out there, I’m quite lazy to be fair, but I know what I want, I know what I have to do to get it and I am prepared to work my ass off and do anything to get what I want. And nine times out of ten I get it. I don’t really have a lot of life experience, I mean, I’m only eighteen and for the first, what, thirteen or fourteen years you are pretty much guided by people around you. So I’ve really only just become my own person within the last four years, so I’m pretty much talking out of my arse here. But either way, I’d say I’m quite ambitious and motivated. For example, where am in my life, right now, yeah it’s not perfect, I have some worries etc, but on the whole, it’s pretty darn perfect. I got into the university I wanted, a half decent one at that, and my entire academic life since I was like 10 has been geared towards making it here. It’s a relief that I finally made it. It does feel like everything is coming together quite nicely. Plus, I have some pretty awesome people in my life too, so the journey to this point I’d say has been amazing. And I don’t mean that hyperbolically. I guess really this has turned into, I love my life, and yeah I guess I do. Like everybody, it’s been a rollercoaster, but I’d like to think¬† I’ve got my head screwed on straight and I’ve got it in me to succeed in what I want. I’m not being big headed, maybe I am, no, I think I’m just positive. See I’m not really self deprecating at all. Haa. Life is good [=

New Shoes In This Sad, Secular, Materialisitc Society
October 24, 2011

I love reading pointless posts like this almost as much as I like reading them. So here is one, of an ‘exciting’ purchase I made today. I love new shoes. Out of all the new clothing and attire etc that there is to buy, I love shoes the most. No, actually, jeans come first. I love wearing brand new jeans. I love those jeans. My purple skinny jeans, in the photo. I would just like to admit though, that the only reason I bought these beautiful shoes is because everyone else has them. Which is horrible. But I won’t kid myself. I’m not original or unique. I follow the crowd like everybody else. How depressing! However. The shoes are so nice it makes up for it. Speaking of awesome shoes, please note the sexy black, grey and blue high-top Nike dunks on the left hand side. Amongst the incredible mess. Yes I live like a pig, I always have done, and I inevitably always will do. But the dunks are also my babies. Shoes are wonderful. That is all this post is intending to say. There is norhyme or reason. Eee I love my vans.